who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
