To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
