I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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