i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
