you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
