Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
