problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
