I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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