batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
