At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I looked at my own cervix.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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