hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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