Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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