so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
