ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize