i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
time to smoke my breakfast
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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