I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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