WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
