The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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