when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
