Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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