im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
