found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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