so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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