so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
