The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
