its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
