Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
