you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
