My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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