No stitches, just platelets and will power
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize