The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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