garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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