I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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