if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
