She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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