You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
