Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Come on in and take your pants off
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