I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
