oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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