You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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