If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
