yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
