tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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