We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
