Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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