You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
