Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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