Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think a kid would responsible me up
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize