i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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