We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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