Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
honey bunches of taint.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
