Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We're too hungover to prance.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
