I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
