Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
