i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
