tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The feeling are messing with the penis
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
