im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
