i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was like having sex with a tree stump
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
