Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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