He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
