A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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