yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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